Laying Down the Highlighter

I ran the Cape to Cabot in 2012.  It was the hardest
race I ever ran.  I kinda feel the same way now as I did
after completing a 20k run from Cape Spear to Cabot Tower.
Wiped.  But exhilarated.

I am done.

I can now be fully present with my loved ones.

I can relax without feeling guilty I'm not studying. 

I can read whatever I want.

I can revert back to my multi-focals... although, now that I've discovered reading glasses, I will be using these for reading print!

I can stop emailing my prof.

Freedom!

What a ride the last six weeks has been.  I learned quite a bit.  Of course!, you say, I completed two courses!  Yes, I did learn from them, and I totally loved it all.. but what I didn't count on was what I learned about myself. 

1. My brain still works.  I studied.  I successfully recalled.  I learned new ways of doing things.  I worked late nights a few times.  My brain may be slow... but it works.  That is good to know after the year I've had with my brain.
2. I kind of love school.  Never thought I'd say that.  (Remind me of this next Fall when I return for more of this!)
3. I needed to succeed at something, and I did.  I have failed at a lot in recent years.  Failed at business, failed at fitness, failed at partnerships, failed at friendship... mostly, I failed at my vocation.  I totally believe in failure being an opportunity to learn, and I always have.  But, when you keep failing with little success, it is not easy to feel good about yourself.  I needed this success more than I knew.  Sure, I'm proud of past accomplishments and the best things in my life, my kids.  But our careers are a big part of who we are, and I have had a half-ass career for years.  It has not been my choice, it has been due to many factors.  So succeeding at this endeavour was something I needed.  Badly.  And it helped.
4. I know stuff.  Indeed, these were undergraduate courses and I already have a Master's degree and about 20 years work experience.  However, these courses were in education and counselling.  This is new to me and so different from my formal education background.  In many ways, I didn't have a clue.  But, I found myself saying all kinds of relevant things... I knew stuff!  I knew relevant stuff!  So that was cool.
5. I love highlighters.
6. I tried to be humorous with my classmates... they never responded to any of my funnies... therefore, I'm not funny.  But I find myself funny.  So... I'm funny... well, only to me... mostly. Actually, I think what I learned is that I don't really give a shit about the facade of having to act a certain way.  There is too much inauthenticity in the world.  I kind of pride myself at being as authentic as I can be.  And I can see how I've come a long way since my 20s and even my 30s.  I'm not so fearful of saying and doing Tina.... I'm mostly appropriate.
7. I am not very good at balancing school and work and family and life.  I used to be.  I'm not anymore.  This is going to be a challenging few years. 
8. I am ready for the next few challenging years.

Oh, one last funny....

My final paper (I wrote about it in my last blog) was to design a program and it was to be 12-15 pages in length.  I did it and mine was 7 pages.  SEVEN pages.  I could not figure out what else to put into this program without making it 500 pages if I included all the details about every activity, etc.  So I emailed my prof.  I asked what I should do.... I felt I was missing something.  I was getting stuck on this word 'activity' and thought I was misinterpreting it.

Anyway, I was working away trying to add information... not being very successful... and my husband asks, "Is that 7 pages double or single spaced?"  

WELL!  I am supposed to do my papers in APA FORMAT!  That means double spacing... and, well, my 7 pages were single spaced!  So I had the correct number of pages afterall.

Needless to say, I sent my prof ANOTHER email (that would be four in total for this one paper) with the subject line: "Senior's Moment."

#the47yearoldstudent